I wrote a letter a few days ago which will never be delivered.  It can't be because it is written to a young woman who no longer exists.  I wrote it to myself - a self of about 21.  I would like to share it with you.
 

Dear Gina of 1977,

All the adults around you are telling you what to do right now and you are trying to do as they ask instead of pleasing yourself.  Don't get tangled up in this complicated web of adult discontent.  Follow your dreams, they are attainable.  Follow your mind, it is smarter than your heart.  Follow your path, leave the freeway to those better suited to it.

You have three small children who love and depend on you, and you have their lives to shape and lead.  As your future self, I would like to share my regrets.  Remember them, act on them, and they will no longer exist for me.

Never yell at your children, they hear better than you do and yelling doesn't help.  It makes them prone to yelling at each other and back at you.  If you are angry, lower your voice, it is more menacing, and helps to get the point across.

If you feel that one of the kids needs a spanking, do it, don't listen to others.  You know your children better than anyone else, you know when they have gone too far.  A simple slap on the backside is not the same as a beating....it will NOT scar the kids for life.

Don't argue with the kids, it simply teaches them to argue.  When you say no, it means no, it does NOT mean "This item is open for discussion."

Remember that no means no, and act accordingly.  Hesitate and think about it before you say no.

NEVER give away more information than the children need.  If you do not have the money to buy a candy bar.  Them them no, don't tell them why.  If you say you don't have the money, they will wait until they know you do have money and ask then.  It is hard to explain to a young child the difference between having money and being able to AFFORD a thing.

Spend time with the kids doing something THEY enjoy.  When you are tired and worn out from working all day, remember that the day when they will leave you will arrive all too soon.  Don't lock yourself into a book or movie every evening.

Never embarrass the kids in front of others.

Take them to the dentist and doctor on a regular basis.

YOU take them to every school function in which they are involved, don't ask Mom.

Make sure they do their homework and practice other lessons as well.

Don't let Mom get into the habit of taking them every weekend, you will miss so much.

Help them develop interests of their own, reading, writing, sports, music, photography, or anything else in which they show an interest.

Take these simple thoughts and use them to your advantage, share them with your friends, remember them.  Remember to love yourself, and remember that I love you very much.

Gina of 1998.